I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
