ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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