my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
i think my cat just said my name.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
