she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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