ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
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