If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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