she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
