After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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