break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
