do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Randomize
