this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
