Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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