Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
