dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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