whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
