ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
