I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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