just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
