my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
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My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
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Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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