her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
