Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
