what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
