You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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