i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
we made out on top of his cat.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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