Yo dont text me then not text me
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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