Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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