Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
