Fine. I'll sleep in my office
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
