How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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