Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
