you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize