if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Randomize
