Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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