What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
