I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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