Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
