Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Randomize
