Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
