Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
