i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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