it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
