1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
