i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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