I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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