No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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