All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
