I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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