HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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