Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
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