So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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