so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I have already put on my inside pants.
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