Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Randomize
