Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
