somebody snuck up and got me drunk
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
