**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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