Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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