chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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