omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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