If i come over, it means nothing
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize