How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
