I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
