Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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