Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
You ate ashes out of my bong
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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