Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
