My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize